Wow! It has been a while since I posted some actually writing last. Hm... I guess that's what happens when you are busy. Things have been going very well here. My Senior year seems to be flying by at an incredible speed! Softball will be here in about a month. Can you believe that?! It's hard to grasp... I know! Piano is going well. We have a recital the Sunday after next and then at the end of March we have a contest and then in June I have my Sr. recital. So many things! :D But you know even with all the seemingly chaos around me the one and only thing that remains constant is God. I know it may sound like a "duh" statement, Of COURSE He remains constant!! But these last few months even down to the last few days I have really seen Him in my life. He is constantly giving me strength when I have absolutely NONE! He gives me patience when I'm impatient. It's absolutely amazing!!!
I'll share a couple things that have been eye openers lately that I am really thankful for.
When I practice piano I pray before I play the songs.. or at least I try to remember too... and I do it especially when I am at piano lessons playing them in front of my teacher because I want her to see how I have been practicing. Because I really HAVE been practicing... honest to goodness I have. So I want her to see it so she doesn't think that I have been slacking. So I pray but all most EVERY time that I pray I totally destroy the song! It drives me absolutely nuts!! I get so frustrated that I go home and sometimes I cry. I even cry sometimes when I am practicing at home because when I pray and ask the Lord to help me play the song, that He would help me play it perfectly when I want to. Well, I don't think that's His plan. So, one day I was so overwhelmed with it I went and talked to my mom about it.
I said "Mom, I just don't get it! I pray and ask Him to help me play it but whenever I do I can't play the song! I am sometimes tempted to just not pray because then I figured that I would be able to play it. Well, I tried that once and I played it even WORSE than before!!"
She answered me sweetly, " Well honey, He is showing you where you need to work on the song so that you can play it better later." My jaw dropped. DUH!
You see what I mean? He is constant! When I don't think that He could possibly be in the situation He is here! I thought that because I couldn't play the song that He wasn't helping me. He was! He was helping me in a much better way then I could have imagined. He knew that if He would have just helped me play it perfectly for my teacher and when I wanted to that I wouldn't get any better. That I needed to work harder at it! That just gives me goosebumps! :D
Another thing, the other day my MP3 player went kapoot. Needless to say I was really quite bummed out. I guess I never realized how much I use and rely upon the thing. Well, I do now. I have relied upon it so much that I never really thought twice what I would do if it died. I haven't been saving up to buy another one and I just figured when it died I would just have enough money to go buy one again. No problemo. Well, it died and at the time I don't have the excess funds to go and buy one. The money is needed elsewhere. *sigh* Well ,then it hit me. (Thankfully not literally.) This may sound really funny and...even possibly stupid to the rest of you people...but it was truly an eye opener for me. I realized that just because you want something, and maybe you even have the money for it, that you don't always get it. There are other things that are more important and that need your money first. I have to prioritize! *gasp* Okay, I can't actually believe that I am sharing this with you people. I feel really stupid. Rereading this I am finally realizing how much of a spoiled child that I am. I have always been able to just go buy what I want. God has really been very generous with me. So, now when I have to prioritize and I can't have exactly what I want now, it really helps me to see how "cushy" my life has been. But don't get me wrong! I am VERY thankful for the death of Cornelius (my mp3 player) because, like I said, it has really opened my eyes. It made me thing that when, or if, I ever get married that sometimes there are going to be things that we may want but the money will need to be applied else where and so we'll have to save up for a "want" and use the money on the "needs."
This is going to be a long post... phew.. :D
Another thing that I have been learning is submission to authority. God has been teaching me some things at work about submission and respecting the authority above me even though I may not respect the person. (1 Peter 2:13) I won't go into details with this one, for fear of disrespecting the people involved. But, if you could just pray for me that'd be great. :D
Also, I have learned that if you try to go through the day without Christ, without prayer with the Word, you will fail. It's that simple. You WILL fail. I have tried. It doesn't work! But, I have also been trying really hard to remember to pray and to read the Word and to look to Christ on a daily, hourly, minutely, even secondly basis! Let me tell you, it goes a LOT better then trying to do it by yourself. I know that might sound funny as well. But, OH MY it's true! If you try to glorify God in everything that you do it's hard. You have to stop and think "If I do this will it bring glory to God?" , "If I respond this way to my siblings will it bring glory to God?" It may take extra time but it brings so much joy! The joy of knowing that you have done things to the glory of God! It's indescribable! I now understand a little bit more about Christ suffering for the "joy set before Him"
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
I'll share a couple things that have been eye openers lately that I am really thankful for.
When I practice piano I pray before I play the songs.. or at least I try to remember too... and I do it especially when I am at piano lessons playing them in front of my teacher because I want her to see how I have been practicing. Because I really HAVE been practicing... honest to goodness I have. So I want her to see it so she doesn't think that I have been slacking. So I pray but all most EVERY time that I pray I totally destroy the song! It drives me absolutely nuts!! I get so frustrated that I go home and sometimes I cry. I even cry sometimes when I am practicing at home because when I pray and ask the Lord to help me play the song, that He would help me play it perfectly when I want to. Well, I don't think that's His plan. So, one day I was so overwhelmed with it I went and talked to my mom about it.
I said "Mom, I just don't get it! I pray and ask Him to help me play it but whenever I do I can't play the song! I am sometimes tempted to just not pray because then I figured that I would be able to play it. Well, I tried that once and I played it even WORSE than before!!"
She answered me sweetly, " Well honey, He is showing you where you need to work on the song so that you can play it better later." My jaw dropped. DUH!
You see what I mean? He is constant! When I don't think that He could possibly be in the situation He is here! I thought that because I couldn't play the song that He wasn't helping me. He was! He was helping me in a much better way then I could have imagined. He knew that if He would have just helped me play it perfectly for my teacher and when I wanted to that I wouldn't get any better. That I needed to work harder at it! That just gives me goosebumps! :D
Another thing, the other day my MP3 player went kapoot. Needless to say I was really quite bummed out. I guess I never realized how much I use and rely upon the thing. Well, I do now. I have relied upon it so much that I never really thought twice what I would do if it died. I haven't been saving up to buy another one and I just figured when it died I would just have enough money to go buy one again. No problemo. Well, it died and at the time I don't have the excess funds to go and buy one. The money is needed elsewhere. *sigh* Well ,then it hit me. (Thankfully not literally.) This may sound really funny and...even possibly stupid to the rest of you people...but it was truly an eye opener for me. I realized that just because you want something, and maybe you even have the money for it, that you don't always get it. There are other things that are more important and that need your money first. I have to prioritize! *gasp* Okay, I can't actually believe that I am sharing this with you people. I feel really stupid. Rereading this I am finally realizing how much of a spoiled child that I am. I have always been able to just go buy what I want. God has really been very generous with me. So, now when I have to prioritize and I can't have exactly what I want now, it really helps me to see how "cushy" my life has been. But don't get me wrong! I am VERY thankful for the death of Cornelius (my mp3 player) because, like I said, it has really opened my eyes. It made me thing that when, or if, I ever get married that sometimes there are going to be things that we may want but the money will need to be applied else where and so we'll have to save up for a "want" and use the money on the "needs."
This is going to be a long post... phew.. :D
Another thing that I have been learning is submission to authority. God has been teaching me some things at work about submission and respecting the authority above me even though I may not respect the person. (1 Peter 2:13) I won't go into details with this one, for fear of disrespecting the people involved. But, if you could just pray for me that'd be great. :D
Also, I have learned that if you try to go through the day without Christ, without prayer with the Word, you will fail. It's that simple. You WILL fail. I have tried. It doesn't work! But, I have also been trying really hard to remember to pray and to read the Word and to look to Christ on a daily, hourly, minutely, even secondly basis! Let me tell you, it goes a LOT better then trying to do it by yourself. I know that might sound funny as well. But, OH MY it's true! If you try to glorify God in everything that you do it's hard. You have to stop and think "If I do this will it bring glory to God?" , "If I respond this way to my siblings will it bring glory to God?" It may take extra time but it brings so much joy! The joy of knowing that you have done things to the glory of God! It's indescribable! I now understand a little bit more about Christ suffering for the "joy set before Him"
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-Heb. 12:2-
So, I can endure through the day. I can endure false accusations, I can endure harsh words all for the joy set me for me. The joy of glorifying Christ in what I do! That is something worth suffering for. THAT is something worth taking an extra 10 second or whatever to answer a persons question or a persons comment. THAT is worth living for!
So, in summery I have learned that even though I don't get the answer that I want to my prayers that God's answer is always better. Even if it means that I have to work harder at something. :D I have learned that patience in savings is a wonderful thing and it requires a lot of work and also that God will supply my needs and wants in His perfect time. I am learning submission and respect for those above me. And last but not least, I am learning joy! :D Now these are just a few.... a VERY few... things that I have been learning lately but I wanted to share them with you all so that you would know what's going on and how God has been working in my life. It is said that spiritual maturity takes a long time. It's true! It does take a long time but it is worth it and the joy that comes a long with it is priceless..
How has Christ been working in your life lately? I'd love to know. :D
4 comments:
Leah, This post was such a blessing to read! Nothing that you said you thought would sound silly sounded silly. I understood what you were learning and feeling! And it was such a blessing to hear all the Lord is doing in your life!!
I have done a similar thing as you about praying about your music, though in my case it was school work. I had never thought of it in that perspective that your mom had about it. THANK YOU so much!!
The Lord has been teaching me about waiting on Him. As I get closer to graduation and adulthood, I find myself worrying about what I am going to do with my life. I want to serve the Lord, but I don't know the specifics of how (as in local ministry, foreign missions, staying home, etc.) And the Lord has been teaching me to not worry about it or try to move ahead of His leading, but to wait on Him and let Him lead. That's hard in some ways, but in other ways it is so relieving to know that I don't have to know everything, I just have to obey!
God is so good... it is so exciting to look back and see what he has taught me this last year, and to hear what He has been teaching you, and to know that He will continue to lead and guide us.
Love you bunches!
~Melanie~
<3
Leah, that was sooo encouraging, especially about what your mom said when you were frustrated about playing the piano, and it seeming like God wasn't answering your prayer. That has happened to me a lot, not just with piano, but also violin, and I've wondered "WHY?"! When I read what your mom said, I was like "duuuuhhhh" too!!! I can't believe I missed it...:)
The Lord has been teaching me lately to be slow to speak; to listen more than I talk! :-/ Our pastor preached on that last Sunday and it has really been in my mind since then.
I'm praying for you! :)
~Bethany~
I totally understand the crunch for a Senior recital...been there, done that, I just don't have the t-shirt! I too have learned to pray before I play a piece...I don't always do it before I practice, but I always do it before I play in front of people. I've learned that it calms my nerves, and I say, "God, it's up to You, if You want me to do well then please allow me to glorify You, and if You want me to do badly, then please let me learn what You have for me through that."
I'm so glad to see how the Lord is working in your life. He's been doing a lot of pruning in mine as well. Mainly He has been teaching me faith and trust. I'm learning that I don't have to see the big picture, I have to rely on Him to make a way.
Oh Leah, I loved reading this post! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing what your mom wrote about God helping you at the piano - the same thing happens to me when I pray before I play, and now I know why! God is so good!
The post was so not-silly, either - the heart lessons we learn may seem trivial, but they are so NOT trivial - they are the work of God in our hearts, which is always an amazing thing! Thank you! :-)
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